her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
