How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
