So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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