who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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