i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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