her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
