This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
