My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
