I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
