Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize