Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
