How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
