Your tits are I can't wait for
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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