I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Ketchup is God's man juice
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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