I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
