So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
