i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
