shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
