pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
