I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize