Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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