Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
