I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
