Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
