I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Mom said you looked used
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize