I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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