If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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