we're blogging at a bar
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
