don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
