I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
