Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
