Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
