Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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