It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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