When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
