Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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