There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize