Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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