You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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