He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
