Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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