Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
