Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
