nutella sex= disaster
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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