Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize