too bad you live with your parents still
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
