so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
