Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
