meet me or not, i'm out of control
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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