3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize