PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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