Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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