I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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