he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize