I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
