but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
