just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
