So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
honey bunches of taint.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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