I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
did i walk over a car last night?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
