Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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