i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
