Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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